Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Business Jargon Haters: Minutes of the Meeting

Hanging around on the office table,
Figuring out what the boss means by deliverable,
Dazed and confused you don't keep him in the loop,
Because he asks you for agenda and a focus group,
You want more money, holidays and you're pissed,
But you shut up because you're the product evangelist,
They keep telling you "We will downsize",
So you get back to work and prioritize,

And every new client's brief in your luck,
Leaves you saying what the fuck?
If only they'd put it in simple words,
And not in literal versions of recurring decimal imaginary surds,
You'd probably have a clue of the work to be done,
But then how would the MBAs have some fun?
No, you must stick to the vague business lingo,
And in the process suck your boss' dingo*.

Then in the bar you meet this lovely blue eyed lady,
And tell her you market satisfaction solutions which are consumer ready,
Till your jaw is viciously attacked by her daddy's boot,
Because he thought you were a male prostitute,
So you retreat to a corner, speechless and weak,
But promise to master this alien corporate speak,
Because the better butt and sweeter titty,
Prefer Six Sigma men with enhanced productivity.


*For more info visit www.dingojuice.com



4 comments :

  1. Shazz said...

    Moving from advertising to freelance poetry writer?

    And er... purely hypothetical event in the last para, i take it? :D

    Oh, and apropos of nothing, I am certified in DSS basics and moving up the ladder as we speak.

    And on yet another unconnected topic, do many girls read your blog? :D :D

  2. Abhishek Madan said...

    Moving up the ladder oh yes missed that one.

    And last para, except the last 2 lines, is hypothetical. Last 2 lines is current research lol.

    Dunno about the girls bit, this FEEDJIT thing should give sex of visitors also, good suggestion lol.

  3. Dishman said...

    HAHA.. well the dingo usage was a good WORKAROUND. I thought i'd supply some of my own inputs. Nice one.

  4. chicken_dinner said...

    lol!! nice one da